Halo 3

WHOA HOLY FUCK GUYS! THIS GAME IS MASSIVE! FIRST OF ALL, IN ITS FIRST WEEK ALONE IT SOLD 12 MILLION COPIES WORLDWIDE! THAT IS MORE THAN CDS BOUGHT AND MOVIE TICKETS BOUGHT COMBINED! ALSO, IT STARS MASTER CHIEF WHO IS THE BIGGEST HERO OF ALL TIME! IF YOU HAVE A 30″ TV IT WILL BECOME A 40″ TV BECAUSE HE IS THAT WICKED HUGE! AND HE FIGHTS THE FLOOD WHO ARE A HUGE FORCE OF ENEMIES! PLUS IT IS IN THE FUTURE– MEANING THAT THE NUMBER THAT IS THE YEAR IS ALSO HUGE! PROBABLY HUGER THAN 2008, ANYWAY!

I LOVE HALO BECAUSE IT IS SO GOOD. I PLAY IT ONLINE AND REALLY LOVE PWNING N00BS (THAT MEANS OWNING NOOBS, FOR YOU OLD PEOPLE, WHICH MEANS BEATING NEWBIES, FOR YOU OLD PEOPLE, WHICH MEANS BESTING LESS SKILLED PLAYERS IN COMBAT, FOR YOU OLD PEOPLE). SOMETIMES I KILL THREE IN A ROW! TTTRRRRIPPPLLLEEEE KIIILLLLLLL!!!! I GET A MEDAL FOR IT!

YOU CAN DO LONE WOLF WHICH I LIKE THE BEST! IT MEANS I CAN PWN EVERY NOOB! YOU CAN ALSO PLAY “TEAM” MODES BUT YOU CAN ONLY PWN HALF THE NOOBS THAT WAY. FUCK THAT!

SOMETIMES I DO GET SHOT THOUGH. USUALLY WHEN THIS HAPPENS I SWEAR AND SAY RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC AND SEXIST THINGS. WHO CAN BLAME ME?! I’M ONLY NINE!

THE BEST THOUGH IS WHEN I GET TO PICK MY COLORS. I USUALLY PICK PINK AND PURPLE, BECAUSE WHEN A NOOB GETS PWNED BY A PINK GUY THEY KNOW THEY REALLY JUST GOT PWNED! PLUS I BLEND IN WITH THIS ONE GUN THAT SHOOTS PINK AND PURPLE NEEDLES! IT’S WIN-WIN! ACTUALLY, IT’S WIN-WIN-WIN WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT I ALSO DRESS THAT WAY BECAUSE I GO TO SCHOOL IN SOUTHERN ARKANSAS AND IT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPRESS MY HOMOSEXUALITY WITHOUT BEING LYNCHED! I AM REALLY SCARED OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM! I HOPE THE QUARTERBACK NEVER TELLS ANYONE THAT WE KISSED UNDER THE BLEACHERS! IT REALLY SUCKS BEING GAY DOWN HERE. I WANT TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT WHEN I GROW UP… MAYBE MOVE TO A COOL CITY LIKE NEW YORK OR SAN FRAN, GET A COOL LITTLE CONDOMINIUM AND COLLECT AS MANY POP RECORDS AS I WANT! AS IT STANDS I AM ACTUALLY TOO SCARED TO BUY THE 98 DEGREES RECORD I WANT BECAUSE THE GUY WHO WORKS AT WAL-MART IS SO DREAMY BUT HE GOES TO MY SCHOOL AND IF HE SEES ME BUY THAT, I AM DEAD FOR SURE… I GUESS I COULD TRY ITUNES BUT I DUNNO… PUTTING YOUR CREDIT CARD INFORMATION ONLINE IS A REALLY SCARY PROSPECT TOO! I HEARD PEOPLE CAN RIP OFF YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY WITH THAT INFORMATION! THEY MIGHT LOG ONTO XBOX LIVE AS ME AND GET PWNED BY NOOBS… OR TELL EVERYONE ON MY FRIENDS LIST I AM GAY. I GUESS I WILL JUST SUFFER UNTIL I AM OLD ENOUGH TO MOVE AWAY FROM THIS HELLHOLE!

I GIVE HALO 3 A 10928 OUT OF 444444444!!!!!!! IT IS HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!